Transitions

Sometimes in life I think that it is important to except important transitions in one's life. I am not saying that everytime there is a chance to change your life you need to take it. I am saying that I think it is important that when there is critical or at least semi-critical junction in one's life that is should be, at minimum, highly considered.

During life it is always hard to understand and correctly "assume" which path it is we are to take. However, that doesn't mean that any of us should ever fear chance. Life is completely unpredictable and is undefined. There should never be the idea considered that everything is predestined for us, otherwise we wouldn't have to worry and stress when it comes to making "decisions". We each choose our own paths in life that have their own consequences and if it was predestined those wouldn't exist because we wouldn't need to be punished for something that we didn't choose.

Take my life as an example...

I may not be the most experienced person in life, however, I have lived plenty and experienced much. I have gone through almost every scenario that I could possibly have time for in my short lived life. I am approaching 24 and, unfortunately, dont' have much to show for it. I have put myself in to extreme debt and trouble. Everything from being a devout Christian, to a person who appears to be almost the most unspiritual and "dirty" person among my friends.

Consequences have been caused because I have made many poor decisions. Here is my opportunity to make the needed decision regarding what path in life I need to take now. I have been given the chance to make personal and spiritual amends with myself and decide a on correct path. I have lived a fairly selfish life thusfar. I have made sure that what I have wanted and thought I needed...I have got. These poor decidsions have had consequences that affected those around me that I love and hold dear for me. For this I am truely sorry.

One can never undo what has been done during that person's life. However, we are always able to learn from these previous decisions. If what we chose to call mistakes in our lives exist, the only way to get "justice" would be to make a thorough self examination of the paths we have chosen and decide that next time a similar situation presents itself we make the appropriate choice.

I am not sure if I am using this time as a way of apologizing publicly or of just coming off like I am ranting, however, I would like to make one thing clear. Since I preach it I am required to follow it. I have make the decision that I will not be there to make the wrong path choice again. I am not going to be frivolously wasting my time or money in the future. I have done what I can to make sure that I have furnished my materialistic desires with the nicer things in life. Abercrombie clothes, Sapphire crystal watch, electronic toys, and the list goes on. In my future I plan on these things not being what is the most important to me.

Due to too many bad choices in my life I have used people and abused what could have been friendships, as well as not doing what is common knowledge. This has ruined my career choice and got me a kid on the way. I am not going to regret ever having a child. And anyone that hints that I will gladly correct. However, now I am going to miss out on many other things I could have enjoyed at a young age. Now, I get to make the critical path choices. I can either go on like I didn't learn anything from my prior choices, or I can chose maturely. I can realize that despite many mistakes I can always correct them in the future. I can choose to make mature choices apart my money, my time and my career.

Not that I am being a martyr here in any way. However, like I said this can be viewed as both a learning example and an apology. To those that read this that fall into the catagory of those I hurt, I am truely sorry. I wish I had not done the things that hurt and abuse each of you. To those that are just reading this and just getting to know me, I am glad you allowed me this time. It benefits me and you. First it benefits you in two ways: (1) You can learn from my mistakes if you remember me, and (2) This helps to give incite as to what kind of person I truely am and not other perceptions. For me there are also two benefits: (1) I am allowed to confess and apology for what I have done wrong, and (2) I am given the chance to put in writing a contract with myself that I will take the time to learn from my own choices and make a transition into my future that I, my friends, and my new family can be proud of.

Thank you for your time,
Adam McDowell