Being Alone

During my life I have come to many realizations about many different topics. One that I have realized is the need for a compliment. By use of this word I do mean getting an "attaboy" here and there. What I mean by compliment is having someone that completes you as a person, that becomes your match and missing half.

Those of you that have never experienced this I want you to know that once you finally find someone like this you will understand exactly what I am talking about. Now for those of you that have, everything I am about to say you may already know or have been told but it is always nice to hear it.


Every person in life I have talked to that has found their match tells me just how happy and joyful they are. I agree completely. Finding someone that can match up with you in most ever aspect is not just amazing, it can be viewed as a blessing and refreshing. However, unless you meet that one person that is the PERFECT compliment you are going to feel a lot of the same pain and heartache that I have experienced.

The main reason I'm writing this is cause I have the slight hope that there might be at least one person who reads this that is able to feel at least a little comforted if not reassured that things will get better.

The thing I have realized that with time there is always pain, but also always healing. There is no feeling like having someone be there for you at the drop of a dime. There may always be friends there for you, but the companionship and completeness you get from having someone there for you that is understanding and loving and caring is unmatched by any other feeling. It is an natural born instinct that you get in life to want someone else to be there for you and take are of you. However, sometimes you can lose that person and feeling. And that is the thing I wanted to talk about.

Pain is always in our lives in one way or another. We can never fully avoid it in this world. However, we all need to remember that we cannot let it consume us. There is always the right that we have to feel hurt and mourn and "cry" in our own ways. The only thing that I would like to impress upon those hurt souls is that time will fix it. I can't tell you that it will HEAL ALL because anyone that says that is giving you a line. I have been broken up with my fiance now for 14 months...however, I still think of her and long for the feelings and companionship I had when I was with her. Since then I have gone through many girlfriends, and I ahve hurt many women along the way. I cannot undo this and I'm sorry for causing them the pain in the first place. The problem though is that I keep going through them so that I can get that feeling back.

There is no way we can ever go back or get back that exact same feeling. What we need to do is let the pain ease away. There will be someone in the future we will all find. We will each find that someone that makes us feel like there is always going to be happiness and joy. We will fight like cats and dogs with this person, and we will make up like the best of friends. The main thing we need to remember until then is to stay by your closest friends. Whether you are in love or just need a person there for the moment, those true friends stay by you til you find that perfect match.

I wish I could undo every hurt and tear that everyone else and myself have gone through. Since I am really no one important and this isn't read by many, I would like my true friends to know that I am here for you. I am the one that you all have for that one moment that you need someone. When everything is wrong and you need a shoulder, I'll be that one phone call away. I can't promise I'm going to be that compliment we all need but I can tell you that since now and again I need it, I will be there day and night. I have been there to go through the pain and want no one else to. But what is most important is that within time, you will heal enough to get over that lost person and move on to someone that won't be the same but in their own way will be better for you because they will be that forever and match up with you 100%.

-A