Perceptions Of A True Self

Poetic expression in my opinion is one of the truest and most sincere ways of getting across emotions and feelings and views.

Here is the first poem I have written in a long time, with many to follow I suppose.


Perceptions Of A True Self
Traipsing through dreams of better times and hopes
I remember a time non existent and forgotten.
Feelings and emotions reaping pain and sorrow.
Why is the reward of not being a brute pure tragedy?

I can stop the hurt but at a loss of my true self.
All that matters is that I disguise my real self.
It isn’t important who you really are.
All the really matters is that you are who you are perceived.
Is that what we need?
Is that who you truly want to be?
I don’t need to feel because I am not me.
I just need to callous over my true self for everyone’s well being.

What if I was my true self?
Would it hurt if I was a true person?
For once in life I would just like to be the real me.
Poetry, words, and thoughts aside to ignore their feelings.
I write my words out as blood spelling my life on the paper.
The oxygen and life flowing out onto the sheets
To put my entire life on paper for all to read.
I can feel the fake me dying out for the real to surface.
Breaching the top as the real person gasps for breath.

A new chapter opens for life
But there is always a new chapter.
Chapter after chapter every day is opened.
None ever really close so I stay the same
As I have always been for everyone else.
I am what they want me to be for them.
Their convenience is the importance.
I just closet away my real self.
I store the true me for what they want
Because reality doesn’t matter anymore.
I hide in my made up world of a different self.

I am not as important as their feelings.
I am only here for their needs and hopes.
Time to hide again…time to repress the real me.
I can crawl in to that imitation of reality.
Hiding amongst their perceptions,
I put away what is real and important for everyone.
I become again what they want not reality.

Reality dies and is buried not 6 but 12 under.
I do the digging and burying this time and willing kill this self.