Bling's Thoughts and Things

Life's Tough

2009-07-26T16:00:00.002-04:00

Most everyone seems to complain about life every minute of every day sometimes. Life can be going perfect and yet there is still a way for people to find a way to bring themselves down. I am tired of making myself feel negative and seeing others do the same.

What would happen if tomorrow everyone woke, got out of bed, took a long shower and got ready and hit the door with the mindset today will be absolutely perfect? I don't mean for a few people to have the mindset that things will be good, I am implying that every person you know just decide that this one day would go exactly right. I know I am grasping at straws even contemplating it, but what a thought. Everyone was nice to everyone else and tried not to step on toes. Hold a door open, buy someone a soda...or put the $1.25 in the vending machine and just leave it til someone else came up.

Life is extremely tough, however, lots of little pleasures get over looked that could end up being the difference between just another day, and that one day that stands out for the next month.

Why not give it a shot? We always have the next day to be negative again :) However, one little thing here could have the chain effect of Karma you needed just to make it through to the next day with a smile.

-A

My shoes don't fit

2009-01-08T16:21:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have those days and moments when nothing fits right? Everything just seems off, and despite all you try and endure the whole gets deeper and not shallower?

No person is ever able to really go through life and fully understand another no matter how close and how similar each person's life experiences are, nor how different they may be. Two people alike in almost every noticeable way may have the exact same outcomes in life, and yet still you will see differences in reactions and feelings and emotions in each. It is always nice to tell someone if you only could walk in my shoes. Be there for just one day and see what it feels like to be me. It is a great phrase to sometimes just shut someone up, but better yet to shut someone out. People are made to naturally care for others and be concerned with what is going on in someone dear to them's life. Yet, there are always limitations.

When of the strongest emotions as person will ever experience is love. Be it something not so meaningful...a career, car, or pet. Then again, there is also the exact opposite experience. The one that is completely undescribable...the Oxford dictionary attempted to define it as:
"Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection."
So bland and blah and for lack of a better word to describe an emotion, and 'emotionless' description. Why did I bring this up? Because you may have the person the knows you so well, loves you so much and still, they may not fully know how you feel or react or are handling one of life's challenges.

The strangest things can have some of the biggest effects on us. Loss of a job, isolation from loved ones, or unspeakable worse. However, when first thoughts jump into your head, I am asking you to dismiss those thoughts because that is not what I mean just yet. I am only using an example to get across my point. People can love us completely and when it comes to a certain circumstance not know us at all no matter how insignificant that experience may or may not be. People are created as emotional creatures that can gain attachments and empathetic feelings to each other in the blink of an eye that we sometimes can not explain. This allows us, though not knowing the feeling of walking in someone else's shows to have our hearts go out to them when we have never been down a road near as similar.

Just because we may not feel right or another person may not feel right doesn't change some of those basic few facts. We need to each learn how to better not ourselves or other people because of this, but to better our relationship with them. Everyone cares about someone and is cared for. What if you don't know their true emotions or they have shut you out from a part of them? They isn't going to change how you feel or what you feel for that person, in fact you may feel stronger in that conviction. If it is something that is effecting that person so strongly wouldn't it be better to try harder to understand them? Communicate openly no matter about what or whom. What if you are just lonely and depressed? Reach out...if the person you are reaching to isn't there for you find and alternative route. Someone that may not have had any experience like yours may be just that one person that loves you enough that they will be just what you need in a situation that no other person would be able to console you in.

So, our shoes may not necessarily fit us. They surely will not fit any other person. However, whatever 'size' our life may be right now, we aren't alone in our experiences. We need that human emotion and connection to truly be just that, human. We should always be willing to let those that love us know as much as we are able to share with them. Not so much how much we can describe it, but how much we can handle sharing. Don't hold back, because what if that person that you need is the person that has the right things needed for your shoes and life to fit better.

-----Sorry first thing I have written in a little while and it poured out randomly on it's own. I tried to keep it as organized as possible. If something didn't make sense let me know and I'll correct it.

-MAC

--reputations--

2008-01-16T04:40:00.001-05:00

Here is the second draft of a poem I am going to call reputations...if
you can think of another name please feel free to volunteer a new
name...

I am also unsure if I have finished this one or not...if something
does not sound right or you have a suggestion to alter and improve it
feel free to let me know :) THANKS!

-A

--reputations--
i wake to a white cleanliness on the world.
fresh appearances cloth the reality beneath,
what appears changed is nothing but a blanket.
turning inward there is a revelation of self.
a powdery snow of inner changes on outer realities.
bleaching of emotions...
a purifying of one's thoughts...
the child of our yester-years let out to play.

like snow, the visible melts.
people gradually forget the changes, but purposely erase the thoughts.
light dusting and visible altering transparent,
impressions stay intact to untrained eyes.
however, just because melted away it doesn't mean gone.
just as snow turns to water,
That water drains into our physical consciousness,
our being and virtuous ego.

ignorant minds see outward what was there,
they do not know the changes and differences.
minds and actions altered,
manipulated into improvements.
the landscape and facets of your being made new.
outsiders stay in their warm environments away from the cold,
not wanting the climate change,
they watch from windows of judgment.

once molded and crafted, permanently changing.
no way to alter the true mind and deeds.
what good to let changes snow on your personality?
what worth to make clean our mental world?
despite those uncaring,
against uninformed opinions...
we each seasonally clean our make-up and character.
we attempt to form and shape a new REPUTATION

untitled

2008-01-02T02:14:00.001-05:00

love is the heart's treachery.
the secretly wanted deceiver
the Judas that we all run to.
despite that view, it us still earnestly craved.
each beat of the heart,
each pulse, one step closer...
one bit of life more fulfilled.
each of us wanting what knowingly hurts
the temptation too great
longing too strong to deny.
each time we submit is for the best,
hoping against hope that no pain this time.
beaten down time and again it goes on.
the strongest muscle in our bodies,
yet the weakest when pain rears its head.
not calloused and cold to protect itself.
the shadow of deceit
the veil that trust covers the heart with
emotions making think no pain to come,
reality proves the traitor will show.
trying each time to love unparalleled,
but knocked down off its feet repeatedly.
betrayed for caring and letting walls down,
for wanting to trust,
and deceiving the heart's guard.
treacherous for being a traitor,
hurt for not hurting,
lied to for not lying,
bruised for not trampling on.
one day that unearned trust rewarded
in time the treachery non-existent.
100 times wronged for 1 time not.
for not callousing over to not be wronged
no ransom from the mind
it knows the pain comes,
yet requires nothing of the heart
emotions win on their own.
no sacrifices required by mind from heart.
both teaming up against the deceiver
one leans on the other for support.
mind hoping against hope,
heart wanting against reason...
each remembers yet deliberately forgets.
there was never 30 pieces of silver,
there was never a lie before
what each thinks back on, just a story
no treachery existed...
just love unabounded and true...
and the heart opens to it.

sleeping angel

2007-12-03T23:23:00.000-05:00

Laying there pretending to sleep
I sneak a glance as she softly breaths...
An angel sent to bless my soul
despite the reproach I have come to know.

Careful not to wake
the creature breathing gentle next to me...
I lean over to those lips,
And steal just a single kiss.

Lips soft and unaware
Of the sensation they pass unto me.
I may not sleep anymore
for fear of waking and this dream disappear.

But just as I feel the warmth
Of her skin brushing gently against mine...
My eyes flutter once...
Twice.....and sleep steals my angel.

Words Unsaid but Felt

2007-12-03T23:18:00.000-05:00

the tragedy is of words unspoken
dreams not embraced
hopes not met
the simples acts of communicating
it would have saved such heartache, dissatisfaction

why not tell the thoughts created?
fleeting and returning inconsistently streaming together
the man is always known to act
the woman to feel...
would it have been so hard to try it?
missing her now for not acting.....

if only to have acted in words
to have guided the flow to something verbal
anger, hurt, fear, and uncertainty
these thoughts tidal wave out

simply wrong
why not express the known and inevitable
messed up, incorrect and not retractable
the stream of wrong thoughts would dry up,
if only to have said those words, "i'm sorry"

Black Friday

2007-11-23T23:15:00.000-05:00

Oh the spoils of shopping on black friday. I may look like a thug with the fur part attached but damn you have no idea how warm I am right now. It's like my own personal oven.

Book Recommendation

2007-11-23T20:38:00.001-05:00

So I have never recommended a book on here before, but I guess there is always room for additions to the general theme of the blog. Not necessarily sure if it matters to anyone else, however, I have a new time consumer that is oddly enough a self-help.

Yeah I know I am normally pretty arrogant and cocky, but this is something I went to the bookstore for of my own accord....

COUPLE SKILLS MAKING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORK

This is basically an overall compilation of works and studies on different ways to improve you relationship in any stage. I normally hate opinions in my business, but this time everything seems to be fairly sound.

The anger issues I have and what sparks it was a addressed accurately and helpfully. Same with communications. Pick and relationship topic and this book will address it in a non-acussitory and with hands-on application with a good time line to see results. The best overall part would have to be that the book is not designed as a cover-to-cover read...you are instructed to hop around as needed for the part that you need at the moment.

Give it a try if you would like to "improve" your relationship in anyway whether problems or now...definite recommendation!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Breakfast

2007-11-21T14:38:00.001-05:00

Why McDonald's sausage biscuit you ask....because sausage BALLS would be too hard to cook...duh! LOL that's for you Amanda.

Quote

2007-11-15T16:20:00.000-05:00

Now I don't remember where I heard this but it has to be the best quote I have ever heard and I just need to post it by itself...

<B>The glass is neither half-full, nor half-empty...
It is merely double the size it needs to be.</b>

Everything in life is relative and needs to be viewed that way. Remember life changes day to day and even if it is at a low point now it will be at a high point tomorrow.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Learning from life

2007-11-13T04:32:00.000-05:00

Slowly and steadily in life we all have to learn from our mistakes and trials. We need to learn from the good as well as from the bad.

I have just begun to learn how to listen to others and improve my current situation and outlook on life. I never really suffered from any form of depression. However, I did have a problem for a number of years with letting things get the best of me and bring me down. This is finally starting to change due to the positive influences around me. For those of you out there you know who you are and I thank you.

Without a doubt most of you can probably figure out the most important and influential person in my life...my beautiful and amazing fiancee. Those of you that have not met Cassie yet I feel you are missing out and hope you can soon. If not for this wonderful woman I don't believe I would have made it to this point in my life on my own, and for this I give her a special thanks.

Everyone has heard the expression 'when lifes gives you lemons make lemonade.' I don't believe this to always be the case...there is more to it then just the lemons. You have time, effort, motivation, and tools that you will need along the way. If you don't have the correct ingredients then you will just have really sour lemon juice. I feel it is the same in life...without the right people and opportunities you don't have the ability all the time on your own to improve your situation. I feel that everyone around me are those ingredients and tools needed.

I have had great ups and majors downs in life... Recently I lived on couches and even in my car a few nights, but everyone stuck by me. I had my family, though under appreciated they may have been at the time, as well as a handful of true close friends. When I would let my "depression" as it seemed get the worst of me they helped me back up onto my feet and set me straight. This is something that everyone needs to remember...they are just a thought away most times.

I have recently came across an awesome phrase I would like to share that I cannot remember where I got it from......

<B>THE GLASS IS NEITHER HALF-FULL NOR HALF-EMPTY,
IT IS MERELY DOUBLE THE SIZE IT NEEDS TO BE</B>

The more I think of this line the more sensible it seems to be to me. There is no need to look at life pessimisticly or optimistically because it is all relative to your surroundings and environment. You are looking at the good or bad in things you are looking at the environment and how it is making your life seem good or bad. You make or break your situation.

I have finally decided that if my glass were half its size then I would have a full glass. So with that thought the only thing needed to worry about is that my glass would be the here and now. This is what I would like everyone else to realize, there is no reason to "get down in the dumps" if it is only for the moment and then you blink and its the past. It would almost be better off to view the glass as slightly too big.

If we all look at this then we have room for our goals and hopes and can see our glass as almost full and not have any reason to be depressed. Cassie has given me this view on things recently...

She is creative, motivated and determined. This is everything I need in my life and around me to keep my head up in all types of current adversity. Since starting to look at everything this way I have been able to find a home with a good friend willingly to help me out. I have been able to give her what little support she needs when her glass seems to look too big at the moment. For being able to do this it helps my glass seem smaller and thus more full.

My friend I call my Twin has been somewhat the same. When she is by herself and feels alone in Montana I know I can fill her glass a bit by a simple call or text. Every time something like this opportunity presents itself my glass seems to shrink and fill a bit more

My family, whom I wish I could make happier, is probably the most difficult for me at the moment. They have so many hopes and expectations for me at times the glass again seems to large. However, just looking at what they see as the positives helps as well. I know they love and care for me...my immediate and extended (that's you Alicia)...all help build me up for just that little extra so that I can make it through. I appreciate all of you and love you dearly...if ever I can repay the favor I am only a call away.

Now that you have all had a moment to glance at my glass and see where the water is I hope all of you can ponder over your situations and realize it is not so tough. Things are only relative and will improve in time. If any one of my friends ever needs me I am always able to help and fill your glass if I am able to. There are only so many chances in life that we get to make things better for ourselves and others and I would like to repay the favors. To all of you I hope the best...

and Cassie for everything you have done and will do as my wife I love and thank you.
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Movies

2007-11-13T03:42:00.001-05:00

Nightmare before Christmas 3-D with my fiancee Cassie....yes we are both nerdy but love the wanna-be RayBan 3-D glasses.

2007-11-13T03:25:00.001-05:00

Paintballs

2007-09-25T15:50:00.000-04:00

figured why not ressurrect my blog again with something painful and realistic...this is what happens when you take 77 paintball shots to the chest.

Lost in thought

2007-04-04T02:45:00.000-04:00

Most times when I post a blog on this main page I have some sort of base to start off of or some "deep" thought. For once...I do not. I just thought I would start of with a clear and open mind and see where it leads me.

Throughout my last few weeks I have yet again experienced many a broad range of things. I have been in yet another pointless relationship that ended as quickly as it had started. Work pushes me forward still with long days and low pay. Insomnia slowly takes over my nights and blends them into my morns only to repeat its horrid circle hours later.

Yet pondering my last couple of months since my last post I find that I do learn a couple of new things...

Life yet again moves on. Each endless day passes into yet another in this "cycle" of life. I stop to think to myself my reason for living and being and actions. What do I find? Every second that passes on where I am accomplishing getting by leaves me feeling like I have not nor ever accomplish anything.

I have acctually come to the realization that the depression that others feel and the lack of being is really an inspiration to me. My depression should drag me down but seems everyday to fuel the exact opposite. Each time I sit down and ponder things I drag myself down and of course get more depressed. However, oddly enough, as fast as I drag myself down I seem to boost myself back up.

Looking back overthe few years that I have lived so far I find that I have learned and experienced much. Surprising to think about now I have most likely experienced more in my few short years of existence than most people do in their entire lives. I have been at both extremes of life as well. One end wholesome and obedient, the other a drunk and using drugs looking for the next good time.

What I write now I am writing as a thank you to those that seeing me through all of this still see some kind of hope for me. They tell me my potential and also what they know I am capable of. Forgetting where I have been and what I can do I still can't see what they see. I have a tendency to let the little things build up and bring me down....however I still know what they say and I do listen to it. It may be difficult for me to understand it but it is remembered.

I promise all of you that this applies to....one day you will be right. I will eventually stumble onto that path you all tell me I will find. One day I will miraculously luck out and be able to do whats right. In the meantime all I ask is for you to keep telling me what you have all along and tell me to keep doing my best. Eventually, success will happen whether I let it or not and things will change.

Thank you.

Experience....

2007-02-15T18:01:00.000-05:00

So who was it that said experience is the best teacher? I don't personally know, but I do think that man should be shot. Not to sound bitter but why is it that being hurt, or heartbroken, or thrilled have to be the best teacher?

Do we really need to experience things on our own and see the troubles in life to realize what the right or wrong answer to something truly is?

I am taking this moment to thank my parents, first, and anyone else who has given me instructions or incite in life. I am the first to admit I am 100% stubborn and probably don't even listen half the time. However, I want them all to know that their words are as sweet as honey and have not gone unheard. To listen and to hear I feel are 2 different things.

Everyone can listen....all it truly requires is for us to stare at the person with a blank look and give an occasional uh-huh. Just kidding, but when we are the person giving the advice it sometimes feels that way. I do feel that listening doesn't always mean applying or acting on those instructions. The main reason that anyone ever tells us these important things anyway is merely to help us. What is important is for us to hear it...

Here is where I feel that experience, although we can learn from our past, can take a backseat. When we truly listen to those who love and care about us we aren't just sitting there nodding...we are hearing and taking to heart what is said to us. What good would it be for people to share their knowledge if it was to just fall on deaf ears? Not only be it would and insult to the person sharing the knowledge with us, but it would also be foolish on our part to sacrifice words of wisdom for experience every time.

Now I'm not saying that we never need to experience life, however, there are sometimes when we don't need to go through the pain of experience when another alternative is offered. How many times can you count when you know that you shouldn't do something and did it anyway just to experience it knowing it was going to have bad consequences?

So enough negative, and back to my point. Thank you to everyone that has given me advice in life to try and save me the troubles of learning on my own. Just remember even though you probably thought I was only listening I did hear what you said and I appreciate it.

Just thought I would share a painting in this blog from one of my favorite artists, Thomas Kinkade.

Song

2007-02-10T19:24:00.000-05:00

Just posted up a new song for everyone since I haven't put a new one on in awhile.

This is fairly fitting on the lyrics since it describes most of my relationships. It's not 100% accurate but still it is fairly dead on. Listen to it if you haven't....

Omarion, Ice Box.

Finally updated

2007-02-10T19:22:00.000-05:00

I finally sat down and updated the Electronic's section of my blog with a review of the Motorola Q and the new EV-DO Rev A PCMCIA aircard model number AC595. Be sure to check it out.

-A

trepidations

2007-02-10T15:47:00.000-05:00

The feeling of alarm or dread.....in the plural.

With everything that has occurred in my life I CONSTANTLY have dread. Never can I figure out which answer is the correct one and how to stick with it. Throughout growing up and experiencing life we all make choices and decisions that affect not only ourselves but all others. I choose one thing to make myself feel happy and then I hurt a dozen others. I choose something they want and I bring myself down into depression.

Is there anything in life that you can choose that makes 100% of everyone happy? I know the right answer, but what if you can never live up to your decision? The problem isn't so much the choosing correctly as it is the letting everyone down if you even falter in your steps not to mention just messing up a little.

I have told many people many promises and unfortunately I have let almost all of them down. There is a time in everyone's life when they need to come to grips with what they have done and make amends with the people they have wronged. The next important step will be to actually LEARN how to change AND THEN CHANGE.

Now there is no way that any of us can undo what we have done in the past but we can all learn how to not repeat ourselves. If there is something that we can do that is right, and we know it why not act on that for once? Whether or not people in my past believe me when I promise them that things will be different I thought I would just let them know anyway that I will be working on it as much as possible in the future.

I know what is right and wrong, now I just need to make sure that I do what I promise and follow through. Like anything in life we all need to make sure we think before we act. Of all people this is most applicable to me. I am making it my main goal to make the right decisions and not hurt those important to me anymore.

Been busy

2007-01-08T04:24:00.000-05:00

Sorry just been really busy lately and haven't been really able to post this last month or so.

I know I don't have many readers, however, those of you that do read this and the few guests I get just thought I would let you know I am bringing this back to life.

Be sure to check out the Electronics blog link on the right because I'm gonna start dumping lots of electronics in there including phone reviews and review on the REV A Air Card through VZW I am now sporting.

-A

I see life as a PARADOX

2006-11-27T00:23:00.000-05:00

A paradox is defined as a statement that contradicts itself, i.e. "'I always lie.' If it true it must be false."

I have come to the decision that all of society and life is a living paradox. IF EVERYONE IN LIFE IS TRUE, THEY MUST BE FALSE.

Doesn't that sound a little accurate? Those that claim they are closest and truest friends follow suit and end up "being true" by showing that they are false friends. They may have the truest of intentions, however, they let their own sentiments and opinions overshadow what is more meaningful....your feelings and emotions.

I write this insert into my list of opinions not so much for myself, but this time for everyone else and for one particular reader. No matter how many times you tell some one something they can still let it fade from memory. The best part about writing something out is that it is like making it permanently known. Once the words are published there is no way to undo the lasting impression they can have on someone. These words I write are to show that there is more to life then the false people we meet.

These "paradoxical" people will burn you time and again. The greatest part about being the people that we are is our ability to be resilient and bounce back. It is true that we may not always bounce as high as other times, but we still will bounce. The only down side is when a person finally gives up bouncing. I don't want you to stop. The phrase "sticks and stones" was never written by someone who has experienced the things said that some today have experienced. I have unfortunately been on both sides. As I have made clear in previous blogs, I am sorry.... However, those words will stick with you, one way or another, for life. That is why I am saying, forget about them and their hurtful, thoughtless words.

You can burn down a forest and it will sprout and grow back. You burn it enough times and not just the trees, but also the soil will be burned. Once that happens, it will die deep down inside and never truly be worth anything again. People can only bounce back on their own so many times before the momentum stops. If there isn't another person there to keep the momentum going deep down inside we will end up feeling like nothing is worth anything. No matter what some people may say or not say...I'm still here to help. I still plan on keeping everything bouncing along. No one is ever really alone, and just because some may act like a paradox towards us that doesn't mean all are.

What if someone finally is being sincere? Just keep asking yourself, "What about next time?" Not everyone will be false, there may be moments it may feel like it, but everyone gets someone that is genuine at least once in their lives. Your time is coming up if you haven't already gotten there. Let the skeletons out or keep them bottled up, it doesn't matter in the long run once you have reached that point because as long as you don't act "paradoxical" towards that someone, they have no reason to ever doubt you or turn their back on you in word or deed. There is more to life then what meets the eye, even if we don't ever want to believe it.

People will from time to time let reality seep in and see the deeper, honest meaning of things. Sometimes they will completely ignore it and move past. To each person is their own decision, I'm not trying to make it for them. However, just because they see something one way doesn't mean we have to let them "in" and let them burn our forest down. We can let the flame extinguish before it has time to ignite anything. That is what is great about that other person being there to help our momentum. It may be one person, it may be many people, but there are those that see us for our TRUE self. They can see past our shadows, secrets and our skeletons.

Our past may help form and define us; however, it doesn't make us. We all have control of our futures. WE ALL DECIDE WHAT KIND OF PERSON WE ARE AND HOW WE WANT TO LIVE AND ACT IN OUR FUTURES. No one's words can ever take that from us. They can't make us do what's right or wrong. Forget the bad, just remember you will always make mistakes. That is why they are called mistakes. The greatest part is that we can do the right thing just as easily....

....do what you feel is right. You are not alone...I won't let you be.

And that is me letting YOU know that I see something different then they do.

Fear is misunderstood

2006-11-05T05:18:00.000-05:00

"The only thing to fear, is fear itself."

Franklin D. Roosevelt made that quote among many other memorable ones. The phrase can have dramatic meaning for some people, however, it can be totally disregarded by other people.

Why have I chosen this phrase to start off you ask? Simple reason, I think that is a profound statement just misunderstood. Roosevelt had a wonderful idea that would make people feel reassured, but that is the whole problem. They didn't need to feel reassured because they were the problem not their fear.

I have come to the conclusion that fear is more equivalent to a person lacking self confidence and assurance about one's self. They are just needing to boost their own ego in order to beat what they "fear." Due to not having confidence in them self in one category or another, they let the imagination run free and get the best of them. The best way to beat fear then would be to outsmart it.

As long as there is no doubt about a person's self being and worth there should be nothing to fear. Phobias are then meerly the brain and imagination dupping them. They "fear" spiders because they think spiders will bite them. However, if that person has the confidence in themselves to beat there mind, then they would realize that the spiders is smaller then there fingernail. This may not be a very good analogy, but I have a reason for bringing this all up. This is my reason...

Today in society we are all "afraid" of what others seem to think of us and who we are. That fear is nothing more then not having enough confidence in ourselves to be better then what most everyone out there thinks we are. It never really matters how people perceive us. "People" normally don't care about something if it doesn't have any impact of influence on their small little worlds. So in turn, the main reason a person would be showing "fear" is because they are worried more about that other person and how they are efffecting them. What is important is to always remember that we all need to have confidence in ourselves and not worry about appearances.

If appearance was all that mattered, this would be a pointless blog. However, appearance is always only on the surface. Reality is deeper and that is the important part. Since the only thing that can actually effect anything else is the real person then that should negate the "fear." We have no need to worry about other's perceptions. If we always worried then nothing that matters would ever be accomplished for "fear" of letting others down. However, if we have self confidence then we never have to worry about what others think and we will realize that the real person we are is what has a lasting impact on the world around us. Never "fear" what others will think and wonder about you because all that is really important is that we are 100% true and honest with ourselves and others. If we do this then no matter perceptions about us the real person is always what will win in the end and have the critical impacts on us and our world to make life enjoyable.

-A

Being Alone

2006-11-02T02:26:00.000-05:00

During my life I have come to many realizations about many different topics. One that I have realized is the need for a compliment. By use of this word I do mean getting an "attaboy" here and there. What I mean by compliment is having someone that completes you as a person, that becomes your match and missing half.

Those of you that have never experienced this I want you to know that once you finally find someone like this you will understand exactly what I am talking about. Now for those of you that have, everything I am about to say you may already know or have been told but it is always nice to hear it.

Every person in life I have talked to that has found their match tells me just how happy and joyful they are. I agree completely. Finding someone that can match up with you in most ever aspect is not just amazing, it can be viewed as a blessing and refreshing. However, unless you meet that one person that is the PERFECT compliment you are going to feel a lot of the same pain and heartache that I have experienced.

The main reason I'm writing this is cause I have the slight hope that there might be at least one person who reads this that is able to feel at least a little comforted if not reassured that things will get better.

The thing I have realized that with time there is always pain, but also always healing. There is no feeling like having someone be there for you at the drop of a dime. There may always be friends there for you, but the companionship and completeness you get from having someone there for you that is understanding and loving and caring is unmatched by any other feeling. It is an natural born instinct that you get in life to want someone else to be there for you and take are of you. However, sometimes you can lose that person and feeling. And that is the thing I wanted to talk about.

Pain is always in our lives in one way or another. We can never fully avoid it in this world. However, we all need to remember that we cannot let it consume us. There is always the right that we have to feel hurt and mourn and "cry" in our own ways. The only thing that I would like to impress upon those hurt souls is that time will fix it. I can't tell you that it will HEAL ALL because anyone that says that is giving you a line. I have been broken up with my fiance now for 14 months...however, I still think of her and long for the feelings and companionship I had when I was with her. Since then I have gone through many girlfriends, and I ahve hurt many women along the way. I cannot undo this and I'm sorry for causing them the pain in the first place. The problem though is that I keep going through them so that I can get that feeling back.

There is no way we can ever go back or get back that exact same feeling. What we need to do is let the pain ease away. There will be someone in the future we will all find. We will each find that someone that makes us feel like there is always going to be happiness and joy. We will fight like cats and dogs with this person, and we will make up like the best of friends. The main thing we need to remember until then is to stay by your closest friends. Whether you are in love or just need a person there for the moment, those true friends stay by you til you find that perfect match.

I wish I could undo every hurt and tear that everyone else and myself have gone through. Since I am really no one important and this isn't read by many, I would like my true friends to know that I am here for you. I am the one that you all have for that one moment that you need someone. When everything is wrong and you need a shoulder, I'll be that one phone call away. I can't promise I'm going to be that compliment we all need but I can tell you that since now and again I need it, I will be there day and night. I have been there to go through the pain and want no one else to. But what is most important is that within time, you will heal enough to get over that lost person and move on to someone that won't be the same but in their own way will be better for you because they will be that forever and match up with you 100%.

-A

The Road Not Taken

2006-11-01T19:02:00.000-05:00

So I was thinking about the post that I posted prior to this one. Sometimes when you make that choice that needs to be done it doesn't seem right. People may judge you, as if it is there right, because you make the right choices. The right choice is not always the most preferred one. Sometimes it is less saught after because less people now choose the most morally and ethically correct paths in life. With that thought in mind, I would like to post a poem by my favorite poet. This poem is not my favorite by him, however, it is one of the most widely known and one of the most rellevant poems to the topic.

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Transitions

2006-11-01T01:33:00.000-05:00

Sometimes in life I think that it is important to except important transitions in one's life. I am not saying that everytime there is a chance to change your life you need to take it. I am saying that I think it is important that when there is critical or at least semi-critical junction in one's life that is should be, at minimum, highly considered.

During life it is always hard to understand and correctly "assume" which path it is we are to take. However, that doesn't mean that any of us should ever fear chance. Life is completely unpredictable and is undefined. There should never be the idea considered that everything is predestined for us, otherwise we wouldn't have to worry and stress when it comes to making "decisions". We each choose our own paths in life that have their own consequences and if it was predestined those wouldn't exist because we wouldn't need to be punished for something that we didn't choose.

Take my life as an example...

I may not be the most experienced person in life, however, I have lived plenty and experienced much. I have gone through almost every scenario that I could possibly have time for in my short lived life. I am approaching 24 and, unfortunately, dont' have much to show for it. I have put myself in to extreme debt and trouble. Everything from being a devout Christian, to a person who appears to be almost the most unspiritual and "dirty" person among my friends.

Consequences have been caused because I have made many poor decisions. Here is my opportunity to make the needed decision regarding what path in life I need to take now. I have been given the chance to make personal and spiritual amends with myself and decide a on correct path. I have lived a fairly selfish life thusfar. I have made sure that what I have wanted and thought I needed...I have got. These poor decidsions have had consequences that affected those around me that I love and hold dear for me. For this I am truely sorry.

One can never undo what has been done during that person's life. However, we are always able to learn from these previous decisions. If what we chose to call mistakes in our lives exist, the only way to get "justice" would be to make a thorough self examination of the paths we have chosen and decide that next time a similar situation presents itself we make the appropriate choice.

I am not sure if I am using this time as a way of apologizing publicly or of just coming off like I am ranting, however, I would like to make one thing clear. Since I preach it I am required to follow it. I have make the decision that I will not be there to make the wrong path choice again. I am not going to be frivolously wasting my time or money in the future. I have done what I can to make sure that I have furnished my materialistic desires with the nicer things in life. Abercrombie clothes, Sapphire crystal watch, electronic toys, and the list goes on. In my future I plan on these things not being what is the most important to me.

Due to too many bad choices in my life I have used people and abused what could have been friendships, as well as not doing what is common knowledge. This has ruined my career choice and got me a kid on the way. I am not going to regret ever having a child. And anyone that hints that I will gladly correct. However, now I am going to miss out on many other things I could have enjoyed at a young age. Now, I get to make the critical path choices. I can either go on like I didn't learn anything from my prior choices, or I can chose maturely. I can realize that despite many mistakes I can always correct them in the future. I can choose to make mature choices apart my money, my time and my career.

Not that I am being a martyr here in any way. However, like I said this can be viewed as both a learning example and an apology. To those that read this that fall into the catagory of those I hurt, I am truely sorry. I wish I had not done the things that hurt and abuse each of you. To those that are just reading this and just getting to know me, I am glad you allowed me this time. It benefits me and you. First it benefits you in two ways: (1) You can learn from my mistakes if you remember me, and (2) This helps to give incite as to what kind of person I truely am and not other perceptions. For me there are also two benefits: (1) I am allowed to confess and apology for what I have done wrong, and (2) I am given the chance to put in writing a contract with myself that I will take the time to learn from my own choices and make a transition into my future that I, my friends, and my new family can be proud of.

Thank you for your time,
Adam McDowell

Blog revisions

2006-10-31T20:26:00.000-05:00

If you haven't noticed I have spent a lot of time recently on my blog. Additions across the board, and now I have another.

I have embedded an RSS feed from CNN in the upper right corner. It will cycle through the Top Stories being displayed on the website. The feed will have the last 5 stories listed.

Also there is, unfortunately, advertisements now on my page. Good news is that I hid it in the bottom right hand corner. It is easy money, wouldn't all of you put it on your blog as well? :)

Last addition is to the other blogs I have running linked on the right. Both of them are being updated daily or every other day and also match this page. Each will have an RSS feed from a site on a similar topic.

Enjoy...and keep watching for more updates.

Dashboard Confessional

2006-10-30T23:04:00.000-05:00

I think it is time for an attaboy for the Dashboard Confessional. This is hands down my favorite band. Only band that is versatile enough to go back and forth 100% between full band sound and acoustic. Never loosing a beat or note in the transition.

Dashboard Confessional

Check out their site to see their newest music. It is back to the full band sound and is wonderfully done. Dusk & Summer and Stolen are going to join Screaming Infedelities and Brilliant Dance as some of their best.

Music

2006-10-30T20:17:00.000-05:00

More I kept looking at my blog more I finally realized that I was too quiet.

So here you go all...finally some music.

Inside of the "LINKS" column on the right I'll post a Music Video. I'll change it up regularly. Since it is the link section though click on the link above the music video to jump your way over to the site where I find all my videos.

-A

Employed

2006-10-30T20:11:00.000-05:00

So I am finally employed again. Wow I'm not going to be broke anymore. I start on November 6, 2006 at Verizon Wireless. Training is gonna suck at 8 hours a day 5 days a week for 3 weeks in Beaverton. But come on I know enough already about VZW and their phones I can probably coast. Anyway...all you out there with VZW or that need new phones hit me up :)

PREGNANT!

2006-10-27T14:15:00.000-04:00

SO HI EVERYONE IT IS OFFICIAL. FOR THOSE FEW OF YOU THAT ACTUALLY READ THIS I THOUGHT I WOULD LET YOU ALL KNOW.

I'M OFFICIALLY GOING TO BE A DADDY!!! GOT TIL THE FIRST WEEK OF JUNE OR SO BEFORE BABY IS ACTUALLY BORN...BUT NOW I GET TO PREPARE CAUSE WOOHOO! ;)

Goodbye MYSPACE!!!

2006-10-27T01:54:00.000-04:00

That's right....I OFFICIALLY HATE MYSPACE.

I have pretty much shut mine down. I think it would be best if everyone did the same. Aside from the generic meeting up with old friends and expressing your personality, I think it is unnecessary.

I am shut mine down for the simply reason that I have come to the realization that I don't need to have everyone involved in my personal life. Majority of people don't truely care about you anyway. Out of them I now understand too that 90% or so will not even be around to care in a few more years. Those that honestly do care will check with you as a person...not your postings that just generalize.

Now that I needlessly vented you will understand why I have decided to kill MySpace.

Perceptions Of A True Self

2006-10-26T21:07:00.000-04:00

Poetic expression in my opinion is one of the truest and most sincere ways of getting across emotions and feelings and views.

Here is the first poem I have written in a long time, with many to follow I suppose.

Perceptions Of A True Self
Traipsing through dreams of better times and hopes
I remember a time non existent and forgotten.
Feelings and emotions reaping pain and sorrow.
Why is the reward of not being a brute pure tragedy?

I can stop the hurt but at a loss of my true self.
All that matters is that I disguise my real self.
It isn’t important who you really are.
All the really matters is that you are who you are perceived.
Is that what we need?
Is that who you truly want to be?
I don’t need to feel because I am not me.
I just need to callous over my true self for everyone’s well being.

What if I was my true self?
Would it hurt if I was a true person?
For once in life I would just like to be the real me.
Poetry, words, and thoughts aside to ignore their feelings.
I write my words out as blood spelling my life on the paper.
The oxygen and life flowing out onto the sheets
To put my entire life on paper for all to read.
I can feel the fake me dying out for the real to surface.
Breaching the top as the real person gasps for breath.

A new chapter opens for life
But there is always a new chapter.
Chapter after chapter every day is opened.
None ever really close so I stay the same
As I have always been for everyone else.
I am what they want me to be for them.
Their convenience is the importance.
I just closet away my real self.
I store the true me for what they want
Because reality doesn’t matter anymore.
I hide in my made up world of a different self.

I am not as important as their feelings.
I am only here for their needs and hopes.
Time to hide again…time to repress the real me.
I can crawl in to that imitation of reality.
Hiding amongst their perceptions,
I put away what is real and important for everyone.
I become again what they want not reality.

Reality dies and is buried not 6 but 12 under.
I do the digging and burying this time and willing kill this self.

BROKE

2006-09-14T03:19:00.000-04:00

woohoo i am broke....just bought a new lappy AND a new toshiba dlp big screen...57" ;)

Real resurrection

2006-09-08T21:34:00.000-04:00

This is the real deal this time.

Instead of just saying I am resurreting my blog such as before now it will actually happen. This will include updates in life/love/work/and play. This means you will all also get updates about the going-ons @ The Alley Nightclub since it is the up and coming new hotness in Salem.

Hit me back with any opinions, questions, comments, and electronic reviews you want. I will most like have updates everyday or every other depending on how busy I get. There will also be links to myspace, Pyrobling, as well as vice versa.

-A

RESSURECTION!

2005-12-29T20:57:00.000-05:00

OK it is time to RESSURECT my blog!!!!!

It is back and about to be updated regularly!

update on me......working for Boones Ferry Electric, single (unfortunately) and got new T809 sammy phone (check electronics blog for review).

see you later and morrow.

Employed

2005-08-25T04:50:00.000-04:00

Wow it feels good to know I will soon have money again. :) As of today I'm now the property of Red Robin's. Now people won't look so weird at me when I pay in a bunch of 1's. J/K.

That is the only news I unfortunately have for today. I wanted to throw some links and cool stuff up on my blogs. Good idea until I realized that NOTHING happened much in the electronics world. I threw the few decent links up. Enjoy.

Posts

2005-08-23T05:17:00.000-04:00

This is to tell my few readers know that the "Apps Reviews and Links" and the "Electronics" blogs have some updates.

These are from the last 24 horus and are truthful and current as far the links and sources. These will be updated daily for everyone's convenience. I won't post on here everytime I throw something on the other pages, but if I load more then 2 posts to either of the pages I will let everyone know.

-Bling

2005-08-22T04:23:00.000-04:00

O the joys of parties. I love what makes us feel complete after a few drinks

Blog Addition

2005-08-22T02:16:00.000-04:00

If you look to the right side of the screen with the links you will see an addition.

Since I will put phone reviews, thoughts, and random crap on this blog I am adding one. The top link on the links menu will be for phone apps. I will post Symbian, Windows Mobile, and other OS program reviews and links. Want a mobile phone program let me know and I will see what I can track down.

The reviews I will try to keep unbiased, but if the program sucks or if you don't like it, let me know and I'll note that.

Enjoy!

Relationships

2005-08-22T00:50:00.000-04:00

So I have another thing from my vast cavern of thoughts to waist you all's web space...

I constantly have had a problem with relationships from my first one when I was little and over time I have had plenty of practice with them.  I am great and then I am the worse.  I do something good and then I do something bad.  I know that everyone does in every relationship by why do I seem to get the most practice at it?

I understand that people have written countless books on the subject and there are papers and movies and everyone's opinion, but why can't two people seem to work everything out every time?

As long as I can remember I had a serious problem with communicating my emotions and explaining my thoughts.  I clam up, I get quiet, and I get standoffish you name it and I would probably do it so I would not have to come out with my feelings.  Everything for me changed though over time...I guess I was always a closet romantic or whatever you want to call it.  I totally believe that there is only one person for everyone else.  I don't however feel that everyone gets their one and only match.  People may go their entire lives and never meet that person or you may grow up with them your whole life and never meet them.  I am luck enough to have actually found my one and only person.

Here is my dilemma though, now that I have found her...what do you do to keep her and make the relationship and communicating and everything else work?  Just as I feel I finally have a reason to break my emotional silence barrier, there is still a problem with it.  We both have our different ways of communicating.  Now that I can do it, I can't again.

There is always the want and never the can.  I have almost always managed to settle problems within 24 hours of having them...but finally I am helpless to do it.

Here is the funniest part, even with the helplessness and the lack of communicating correctly why is it that I still want to stay here?  I have found a hellish Utopia.  I have severe downs but my ups are so often that I can't get away from it.  Utopia is supposed to be a great paradise and perfect, why do I still like the hellish part.  I stick it out and I beat my head against the wall and I still stay with it because if I don't now, my life would crumble down.

Even though I would like to run and hide we all, I think, don't run and hide.  Every person likes to have this from my view.  People go back to the hunting for their match and looking for their special one and only.  The relationship cycle continues and books get written.  People's opinions get highlighted and bashed and praised and quoted and slammed.

What is the end result?  All of the ups and downs and goods and bad and problems when we find our special match that leads us into the relationship for life.  That choice gives us one final thing even with all of the problems....

....total happiness. :)

Nokia 6630 Thoughts...

2005-08-22T00:06:00.000-04:00

So I have finally moved into the 3G phone world....AND I'M LOVING IT!

This is by far the best non-PDA phone I have ever used. The Mega-Pixel Camera is definitely the BEST camera I have ever seen on any camera phone. I am to the point now where I am thinking of even selling my digi camera just to get money since now I am never using it. I am taking average of 10 photos or more a day with this camera.

The EDGE was a much needed bonus. I am clocking an average of 86-97kbps downloading speed. The OS is moving back for me from UIQ to Symbian Series 60. Upside to the movement is that the processor on this phone is lightning fast compared to any Series 60 phone I have ever used. This bends over my 6620 and shows it who daddy is. :)

Next step is to pick up the Nokia PT-8 video call stand and test out the video conference calls. Small on compact in size to other Mega-Pixel and Series 60 phones I have used, the 6630 will still be compact with the PT-8 attachment.

Only down side to the elite 3G phone is the still low built-in memory and the expandable memory option. Nokia has done their own crappy memory idea again and it is sucking it up. Good thing this comes with 64MB expanded memory from the factory.

Next stop is the 1gig memory card, at a god aweful price, so that I may watch movies on the phone. Not only does it take smooth marvelous videos with the camera, but it also allows for full screen video capabilities through SmartMovie and other Series 60 programs. Download...and you are on your may to mini movie player. It's great that the battery life on the phone is amazing!!! I have 2 fully charged batteries at any one time, and I still have yet to use my second battery in the same day.

Overall decision, the H6315 trade for the 6630 and iPod mini to Olly was a great move. Don't get me wrong I do miss my 6315 and will be picking one up again when I find a newer version of unofficial software. However, I am loving this phone and my music everywhere I go. Olly likes 1 unit to do everything, but since I have a lot of pockets I don't mind multiple toys...plus I am a techno nut and I like showing off my toys to anyone who wants to see them.

All-in-all I am loving this toy and I give it a solid 10 out of 10!

Want your own 6630? Check out this site... www.phoneyworld.com

Sin City Review

2005-08-18T18:49:00.000-04:00

What The Hell were Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, and Frank Miller (II) thinking or smoking when they directed this? Also, what ELSE were Rodriguez and Miller thinking when they sat down to wrote this "movie"?

So before you get the wrong idea, I did enjoy the movie by the time I had finished it. However, this is not for the weak of stomach. I can't really remember a straight 180 seconds where there wasn't blood or someone being hit, shot, stabbed, run over, or bleeding everywhere.

Huge bonus to the movie was the writing. Not because the lines are unforgettable and qoutable, but because the movie was desgined to keep you jumping around, guessing and wondering what really is going on. The movie starts with one man's story then jump 3 or 4 times and then head back to the original storyline. Twisted and gorey the storyline never seems to get any softer.

I don't have many Cons for the movie unless you don't like hot women and a lot of blood. Otherwise, sit back grab a beer and enjoy the movie.

Overall rating is a 9 out of 10. Tarantino does it again.

Four Brothers Review

2005-08-18T18:43:00.000-04:00

Now yes I will be a tad bit biased against "Mark E. Mark" but who isn't right? This movie won't get a big review from me just a quick touch.

All guys like bloody shoot-em-up movies. Plus who doesn't like to get revenge? The whole story line goes as follows...Mom gets killed, guys get mad, guys kill a lot, bad guy gets killed, everyone lives happily ever after.

The Cons to the movie...o yeah, Mark Wahlberg. No way that he is ever going to be that Tough, Badass, or have that much of a backbone. :)

The Pros...come on it's a shoot em up movie. What else do I need to say?

Overall, movie gets a solid 7 out of 10.

6 Mega-Pixel Camera Phone

2005-08-18T17:53:00.000-04:00

This is the first 6 megapixel camera phone. With 512 mini sd included. Dvd quality video and retails for 495 USD

News Priorities

2005-08-12T03:39:00.000-04:00

I looked on www.cnn.com today to see what kind of news was out and about in the world.

Mostly I am not a news watcher but I like to check in on it occasionally. To my severe disappointment here are the headlines I found:

SI.com: Tiger Woods off to ugly PGA start
Original Blue Angel pilot dies at age 86
CNN/Money: NYC urges restaurants to cut the fat
NASA takes new aim at Mars

Now I know for the most part, not many people listen to me bout things that I don't have any major control. I can complain bout the weather or traffic and people kinda listen. Now here I know that no one will pay it any great mind, but I absolutely protest our news system.

Have you ever stopped to wonder what big dog is paying another littler dog to put on the news. Right now there are major wars ALL OVER THE WORLD and they post Tiger Woods, and a dead pilot? Where has our priorities gone so astray? I would much rather want to hear something depressing and morbid like mass genocide in Rwanda then this garbage. It is an insult to the human race for us to glorify how Tiger Woods did. I don't give a damn if he got par, birdy, and so 50 over par. We need to get back to what matters most.

When U.S. was in Vietnam there was non-stop coverage of the war, and politics. I am not a political person, but I still am not going to ignore the problems going on in the rest of the world. I still think politics of a foreign country is more important then landing on Mars. The planet will never be able to house life and humans so why would I want to see photos of a place I can never go to instead of WHO helping people in third world countries?

Everyday 100s of 1000s of people die from diseases, and pestilence, and STD's, and genocide over land. Don't you think it may be time for people to pull their heads out of the ground and get their priorities straight.

It is time to stop wasting space on CNN with sports and Mars and start looking towards here and other countries. Every detail needs to be shown to us before we ever look into a planet. How are we gonna domesticate another planet when we can't even stop wars here.

Like I said, no one will ever really listen to me, but I still think that this should be looked at as news and not the crap that is out there.

-Adam a.k.a. Bling

Stealth Review

2005-08-12T03:31:00.000-04:00

Ok...this movie is getting an AWESOME review.

Of course it is your typical man makes robot, robot out smarts man, man concurs all and fixes/destroys robot.

However, I am still loving the intensity of this movie. Fast paced and on the edge of your seat the whole time. Major up side is the well done CG. It was very hard to tell, for the majority of the movie, that there was CG used and not completely real.

Everyone loves pretty people and a love story. Your two main stars eventually hook up...like we couldn't see it coming.

Drawbacks include some poorly written lines and script. There was a little bit too much predictability in the movie. You know this is gonna blow up. No way that goes that fast. When all else fails just blow it up.

Overall the movie gets an amazing 8.9 out of 10.
Adventure/blow up rating comes in at a 9 out of 10.

Dukes of Hazzard Review

2005-08-12T03:20:00.000-04:00

Movie was more entertaining then expacted.

Thanks to almost every scene or at least every other Jessica Simpson was skimpily clad movie was REALLY worth the $8.50.

Stupid humor is always the crowd pleaser. With a couple of spin off jokes from SuperTroopers and with Farva being his normal redneck self I would watch it again.

Draw backs to it again include Jessica Simpson. For the same reason it benfited the movie. You just cannot base a whole movie around one person, hot or not. Another drawback is the modern day look to the movie. Anyone who has seen the original D.o.H. would gladly take that over sorority dorms and 150 foot jumps.

Overall I would rate the movie a 6.5 out of 10.
If you are rating it on slapstick, dumb humor, the movie makes it up to an 8.5 out of 10.

Doctor Update

2005-08-12T03:14:00.000-04:00

Doctor said today at 10:30am I am officially cleared and ok to start life again.

Fortunately I did not have a normal seizure. Do to the severe vommitting prior the deoctor said that was the cause. Apparently when you vommit your whole body chemistry is changed. Add the fact that being hunched over while vommitting rushes all the blood to your head and you have a seizure cocktail.

As of today I am 100% cleared and allowed to drive, work and drink. Just thought I would inform you all.

Plus as a sidenote now that I do not work for Car Toys anymore I will be updating this site more regularly.

Medical Update...

2005-08-04T20:24:00.000-04:00

ok....so most of you probably already heard the news, but just in case....on Sunday July 31, 2005 i collapsed in the bathroom with a Grand Mal Seizure. all week so far i have been in and out of the doctors and the hospital getting tests up the wazoo. as of yet i don't have anything from them but i will be finding out on 08.05.05 in the afternoon. the list includes:
-CT Scan
-EKG
-EEG
-Numerous Blood Exams
-MRI
-Few more blood exams

time passes and i get more and more crazy. until they can decide just what i have no working, no driving and little tiny ventures out of the house. I'M GOING CRAZY! but no worries...if all else fails, my highly overpaid doctors said that 'if nothing is found they will define what happened as "epilepsy" which means that i am having seizures from an unknown reason.

we'll see what happens.....

3660 works with VZW? WOW!

2005-07-30T22:58:00.000-04:00

Sign 4 HL

2005-07-22T01:57:00.000-04:00

Zoom in 2 the sign & read it.
?What r the students possibly gonna learn?

God kids

2005-07-11T05:31:00.000-04:00

O.M.G. first time in history Carmel has held a baby of her own choice.....& she is SMILING!
2 most beautiful babies in the world. Being a godfather 2 em makes em even MORE beautiful.
Kadance-left
MaKyleigh-right

B-Day present

2005-07-07T23:12:00.000-04:00

There goes new SE. @ 2k

WTF

2005-07-07T15:32:00.000-04:00

Knows what?

London bombing on 07-07-05

2005-07-07T07:22:00.000-04:00

One of the double deckers that blew up in London.

Sweet box!

2005-07-05T20:54:00.000-04:00

this is a custom box 1 o my badass installers made AND handbrushed it himself

Sweet Car!

2005-07-04T15:01:00.000-04:00

Hard knock life, but I wouldn't mind 1 o these

hauling ass

2005-07-03T00:13:00.000-04:00

can?t wait 2 get home

Standstill @ 11:15pm

2005-07-02T23:58:00.000-04:00

WTF?? A train on Friday?

Nasty!

2005-07-02T23:57:00.000-04:00

way 2 much free time @ work if u can piss in a root beer bottle

War Of The Worlds

2005-07-01T12:52:00.000-04:00

Well Speilberg has made another money maker.

Not necessarily his best yet but thriller enough he will have audiences on edge of their seats for at least half the movie. From 10 minutes in to the movie to 10 minutes from the end it is BLAM, BOOM, KAPOW, and KABOOM. Either it is blowing up or it is getting burned by the "death ray."

Even though Speilberg laid his grubby fingers on it...he couldn't totally save it because of Tom Cruise. Tom was not the best choice for the movie. Is he pushing 50 yet? Since we all know by now that he is only 5'8" why does everyone shoot camera angles to make him look 6'? Also, there are too many loose ends by the end of the movie. No explanations as to why the aliens arrived or as to why they were spraying the blood like fertilizer.

Major redeeming factor though was the CG. They were able to make the Tripods look as realistic as possible. Realistic enough that is to make your heart pound out of its chest when the stomped on the ground or "death rayed" everything.

Final analysis...movie scores a 7 out of 10.

HOFONITECREW

2005-06-30T17:38:00.000-04:00

WOOT WOOT NW REPRESENT!!

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HP iPaq H6315 Review

2005-06-30T17:21:00.000-04:00

Ok y'all here it is......

Basic Specs:
Talk time: 5 or so hours per charge.
Standby: Deceptive, even with the screen backlight turned way down it consumes quick. I am getting an amazingly fast charge when placed in cradle for even a few minutes, so with constant use over last 24 hours I still have not dropped below 58%.
WIFI: Unreal! However just in the first 24 hours of use I have experienced problems. Whether or not it is cause of GPRS i'm not sure however it will occasionally drop connection. And at only 11mBps it can lag even with 100% and my Comcast connection. Overall...I get a hard on when I am using WIFI in a handheld so lag or no I will continue using it with amazement.
Bluetooth: Major redeeming factor! This BT can do everything. Plus I can FORCE a connection with another device in case I wanna bluejack (and who doesn't).
Windows HP PPC: I admit it is a VAST improvement over prior models. However, I would still prefer to have Linux or UIQ 2.0 on the handset. Windows still experiences typical Windows problems. I have forced rebooted 3 times since unpackaged.
Programs: Here is the last downside to the device. I DL-ed 48 programs before unpackaging unit so that I was prepared to personalize...to my dismay 3 were successful. Either there would be small glitches in the software or it just needed different (older) OS. New programs are all over and constantly coming out so I can wait for an update.

Overall: Final preference...because of a few sweet features I still rate this device 8.5 out of 10. It is loaded with software so all the tech saavy needs are met. However there are still a few more glitches that MicroSUCK will need to work out. WIFI and BT save this phone from getting a 6 out of 10.

CHEERS!

Test

2005-06-30T16:55:00.000-04:00

spoiled little shit!

TA DA!

2005-06-30T16:41:00.000-04:00

So here it is....the starting of all hell breaking loose. If i am allowed online then you know that nothing good can come of it.

Here you can find reviews and opinions on most new phones and e-toys. Hit me up if you have any questions.